Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Randomize
