Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
