you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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