Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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