"it" just moved
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
home. puking in laundry basket.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Randomize
