Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
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