2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
