Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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