If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
