Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
