Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
