I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Randomize