I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
