Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
You need Xanax blowdarts
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Randomize