ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
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It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
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Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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