I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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