There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
