I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I need to align my fucking chakras
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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