She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Randomize
