i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
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Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
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STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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