sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Randomize
