i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
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