i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
