What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
