Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
