Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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