I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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