did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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