In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
