I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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