I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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