Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
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