Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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