apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
