Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
