RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
