I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
