you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
3 2 1 whiskey
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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