you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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