At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
