Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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