ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
