Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.