your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?