Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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