she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Are my feet made of real feet?
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I need to sanitize my soul.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
