she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
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