how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Randomize