so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
