Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
