when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
