i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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