hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
