so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
