i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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