I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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