She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
