you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
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