She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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