Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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