oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
So much Jack, so little girl.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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