I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
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i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
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I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.