Texts From Last Night

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  (714): View more from California

  i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day

  (619): View more from California

  ahah at least you got away with it

  (714): View more from California

  nope...my gran was the one who informed me

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  (714): i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day (619): ahah at least you got away with it (714): nope...my gran was the one who informed me http://tfl.nu/wy9x
  Replies (10) Good night (1178) Bad night (2663)
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  (307): View more from Wyoming

  I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.

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  (307): I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist. http://tfl.nu/unvw
  Replies (12) Good night (1104) Bad night (1549)
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  (289): View more from Ontario

  I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.

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  (289): I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone. http://tfl.nu/rtzl
  Replies (13) Good night (2460) Bad night (4029)
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  (585): View more from New York

  you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it

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  (585): you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it http://tfl.nu/37fg
  Replies (17) Good night (4626) Bad night (1315)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."

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  (678): Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages." http://tfl.nu/1o45
  Replies (24) Good night (1740) Bad night (14545)
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  (951): View more from California

  Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries

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  (951): Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries http://tfl.nu/sog5
  Replies (15) Good night (2201) Bad night (4023)
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  (709): View more from Newfndlnd, Labradr

  a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number

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  (709): a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number http://tfl.nu/syte
  Replies (14) Good night (3031) Bad night (1334)
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  (416): View more from Toronto

  i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties

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  (416): i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties http://tfl.nu/mxe3
  Replies (9) Good night (2883) Bad night (1072)
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.

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  (405): There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway. http://tfl.nu/olpt
  Replies (6) Good night (1376) Bad night (976)
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  (550): View more from

  I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas

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  (550): I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas http://tfl.nu/h91s
  Replies (1) Good night (1405) Bad night (610)
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  (636): View more from Missouri

  You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased

  (314): View more from Missouri

  Please be lying.

  (636): View more from Missouri

  Im not. Your family was creeped out

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  (636): You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased (314): Please be lying. (636): Im not. Your family was creeped out http://tfl.nu/82lj
  Replies (8) Good night (1145) Bad night (1961)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.

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  (732): My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally. http://tfl.nu/1mf9
  Replies (3) Good night (1048) Bad night (575)
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  (714): View more from California

  So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.

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  (714): So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing. http://tfl.nu/3b6z
  Replies (5) Good night (524) Bad night (325)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Also, I found your gauge.

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.

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  (570): Also, I found your gauge. (570): I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy. http://tfl.nu/i63l
  Replies (1) Good night (447) Bad night (475)
• Favorite

  (619): View more from California

  I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.

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  (619): I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday. http://tfl.nu/3yb4
  Replies (3) Good night (315) Bad night (194)

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