I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships