I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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