Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  dude i feel like shit

  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  well u did eat a lot of play-doh

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (412): dude i feel like shit (413): well u did eat a lot of play-doh http://tfl.nu/0jaq
  Replies (10) Good night (1790) Bad night (4609)
• Favorite

  (506): View more from New Brunswick

  cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (506): cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you http://tfl.nu/iu0p
  Replies (21) Good night (5308) Bad night (1061)
• Favorite

  (678): View more from Georgia

  Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (678): Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids http://tfl.nu/tr3o
  Replies (38) Good night (9535) Bad night (1579)
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (404): Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags http://tfl.nu/uxsx
  Replies (12) Good night (831) Bad night (4455)
• Favorite

  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (608): do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life? http://tfl.nu/au0e
  Replies (13) Good night (5174) Bad night (1064)
• Favorite

  (810): View more from Michigan

  According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (810): According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant. http://tfl.nu/aq1y
  Replies (25) Good night (11468) Bad night (1226)
• Favorite

  (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (321): Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right. http://tfl.nu/ehig
  Replies (12) Good night (9895) Bad night (1068)
• Favorite

  (727): View more from Florida

  did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (727): did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again? http://tfl.nu/o7ua
  Replies (4) Good night (3022) Bad night (1071)
• Favorite

  (231): View more from Michigan

  Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (231): Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you. http://tfl.nu/6utw
  Replies (18) Good night (2931) Bad night (943)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (919): I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle" http://tfl.nu/r7nr
  Replies (6) Good night (3786) Bad night (701)
• Favorite

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (202): I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out. http://tfl.nu/03ma
  Replies (4) Good night (733) Bad night (381)
• Favorite

  (585): View more from New York

  this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (585): this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field http://tfl.nu/wzry
  Replies (2) Good night (495) Bad night (605)
• Favorite

  (478): View more from Georgia

  So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (478): So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando. http://tfl.nu/7jrk
  Replies (6) Good night (890) Bad night (355)
• Favorite

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (202): I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part. http://tfl.nu/p8tj
  Replies (2) Good night (429) Bad night (1051)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+44): He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough http://tfl.nu/6ovf
  Replies (5) Good night (465) Bad night (483)

Randomize