Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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