My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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