I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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