I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
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You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
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If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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