Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
